Reading and Religion
During quiet time I've been reading through Cindi Woods devotional The Frazzled Female aka (insert my name here). The book is good but my current state of heart hasn't been in the right place these last few months. I started three weeks ago and just now made it to day four but I'm sure glad I did.
A few paragraphs in she writes Christian women who, because of preoccupation with the intense longing of their heart, often experience sleepless nights, lack of energy, and extreme weariness.
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I can sum it up in one word depression!
She writes about Hannah and her longing for a child, to be a mother. How she prayed and wept to the Lord pleading with him to meet the desires of her heart. She further talks about how Hannah felt lonely and unfulfilled as a woman and how she carried the burden of feeling she had displeased God since he had not blessed her with a child. Going on to talk about how Hannah wept with many tears. I think of how often I have wept with many tears myself. How many tears I've cried for the children we have released and how many tears have poured out because the desire in my heart went unfulfilled.
For me, even in my childhood I remember the desire in my heart to adopt a child. I remember telling people, why would anyone have kids when there are so many kids that need good families and don't have one. A desire placed so deep in my heart that the ache, the yearning for that desire to be met is always in some form been present in my life.
Today's devotion met me right where I am. Can I just be really open here? Sometimes I wonder
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Posted in Recreation Post Date 10/08/2024